Born Again

This will be a short post because I have to open in the morning. But, I have to share this before I literally explode. And, because of that, this may not be the most eloquent or profound. I just need to share my heart, just for a minute.

I have been listening to Third Day's Revelation non stop for the last two or three days. And, today, I have listened to the song 'Born Again' about three hundred times. I can't even post the most relevant lyrics because the entire song is amazing. I feel like they opened my heart and wrote down what they saw. So, listen to the song. If you don't have access to it, I will burn it for you.

More than once, I have broken down during this song (one time I was doing the dishes and I felt especially silly).

I really do feel born again. I can't remember what my life was like before my lastest connection with God. And, it's not like I ever fell away or abandoned God. I don't know what happened, but something did. And, now I can't remember what life was like before that something. I can't remember what it was like to not wake up and want to talk to Him. I can't remember what it was like before I was consumed with a love for Him. I can't remember what life was like before I saw my brokenness, before I saw Him heal me. I don't want to remember.

But, with all that amazing-ness, I am terrified. I have asked God countless times to make a promise that this will never end. I have asked Him to promise me that life with Him will always be just like this. And, He has shown me His love over and over and reassured me that He is never going anywhere. And, He has held me. I could never put into words what that feels like. All I know is that in His embrace, I find everything thing I have ever needed. I find that reassurance, courage, strength, and shelter.

And, I feel like, with His love, I am living for the first time. Every breath feels brand new. Every day is pregnant with promise. Every moment feels purposeful. I can see Him in the small things. There are moments that seem completely insignificant - driving down the road, drying my hair, or playing with the kids - when something makes me think of Him and I feel Him. I live for those moments.

I am completely in love with my Savior.

And, He has made me brand new. And, for the very first time, I am living.