I had a weird day, but in the end, it was a good day. Nothing that happened today was what I thought was going to happen when I went to bed last night. And, it was probably all for the better. God provided what I needed.
But, I am still stressed and frustrated. I feel like I don't have anything in my win column right now. Job? Lose. Romance? Lose. Finances? Lose. Stability? Lose. I'm sure right now you're probably thinking of a few more things to throw into that lose column. And, I almost feel like the very fact that I am sorting my life into win and lose columns also belongs in the lose column.
On the way home from work, I was getting tired of the radio, so I put in Ingrid Michelson. And, just so you know, I cranked it up and sang at the top of my lungs. And, yes the hummer next to me at the stop light did crank up his rap, but I sang my little heart out anyway. The first song, the title track:
I just want to be okay, be okay, be okay
I just want to be okay today
I just want to feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I was thinking, I can do that. Those are attainable goals. I'm okay today. I made it to the end of the today in one piece. I felt a lot of amazing things today. I had a lot of feelings today, good and bad, but I felt them. And, I knew something today. I knew that God provided. I felt His love. And, in the end, that's what made me okay today.
Will I be okay tomorrow? I have no idea. But, God's gonna be with me. Will I feel Him? Sometimes, I don't. Will I know its Him? I'm usually pretty dumb about those kinds of things. But, I'm okay today. I felt today. I knew today.
Put that in the win column.
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