Desert

I am convinced that I do have the best friends in the world. I may not have a million, but they are worth a million. Thanks so much all of you for trying to cheer me up in my terrible no good days. I think you deserve an update.
Currently, I am in a state of denial about my truck. It's true. I freely admit it. I function better that way. You don't have to tell me it's unhealthy. I have a degree in psychology. I know it's unhealthy. But, I know that I can't do anything about it right now, so I have pushed it out of my mind.
On another note, recently I have been checking out churches in Grand Rapids. I know that I am missing something in my spiritual life, and I know that it's the lack of a church family. So far, I've only been to three, but I am, for once, enjoying the hunt. I've brought something away from each service I have been to lately. That's refreshing. I've been to far too many showy chapels. I was starting to think that maybe that was all there was. I have been wrong. If you don't mind, I would like to share a little something from today's service.
The speaker today at Ada Bible Church was talking about the Children of Israel and the desert. God plucked them from the land of plenty and put them into the land of nothing. He let them loose in a desert with no food, no water, and nothing that they were used to. Why would he do this? It was time for the Children to start relying on Him for their daily bread. It was time that they learned that He is their portion. He was humbling them so that they could fully rely on Him.
Ouch. Perhaps, I have also been plucked from my land of plenty. I can't always depend on my parents. Most of my friends are scattered all over these fifty states. I have new bills and a new job and I'm just barely making ends meet. My car is broken and I don't have the money to fix it. That's a huge contrast to being at Lee with family just a phone call away, friends even closer, and it's probably time for me to not call my dad with all my problems and expect him to fix them. Sure, my car wasn't that reliable, but it wasn't this bad. Could God be trying to tell me something?
What if I did ask God for my daily bread everyday? What if I did rely on him for my most basic needs? What if I did expect Him, and only Him, to by my portion? What if He was it? What if I stopped, for even one second, trying to figure all of this out on my own and just let him take complete control?
For those of you who know me well, it would not be easy for me. I've never been one to let go of control. And, maybe, that's why I'm in my own little desert. God is telling me that he has all the answers, and I, in contrast, have no answers at all. Maybe, he's ripping that control away from me, humbling me, preparing me for something bigger.
Or, maybe He just wants me to shut up for five seconds and realize that He is God.