Run with Endurance

I feel like its been ages since I've posted. And, that's not for lack of things to post. God has done so much in my life since I last blogged that I don't even know where to begin.

My job situation changed. It wasn't what I wanted, but I think it was right. But, in the process of trying to be obedient, I battled a lot of other unwelcome emotions: jealousy, bitterness, inadequacy, anger. I was overwhelmed. I was afraid that I wasn't going to make it. I thought I found some peace, and then I would cry on my way home from work. I would start to get excited and then, the bitterness would seep in. I literally cried for a week. Then, I was journaling/praying because they happen simultaneously for me. And, I realized I needed to ask for forgiveness. Imediately. So, I made the necessary phone call, my hands were shaking as I did it. But, as soon as I said those words, a weight lifted off my shoulders.

This verse was my salvation:

'Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely and run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and protector of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and is now sitting at the right hand of the throne of God.' Hebrews 12:1

This verse immediately follows the 'Faith Hall of Fame' in Hebrews 11. So, this great cloud of witnesses is Abraham and Issac, Noah and Gideon, and so on. We are surrounded by the stories of men who made it. They lived on faith and received their promises. So, now, it's my turn to lay aside the weights and sins that slow me down and run. I have been given all the tools that these men were given. They were only men. But, they were men who chose to run with endurance. Were they scared? Sure. I'm postive that Abraham was shaking in his boots when he walked his son up to that altar. Did they have their doubts? Absolutely. You don't think Noah didn't wake up every day thinking, 'am I as crazy as everyone thinks I am?' You bet he did. Were they worried that they wouldn't be able to do what God had called them to do? Definitely. Moses told God that he was no speaker, and God said, 'I know. Carry on.'

But, they ran. They ran with endurance. They looked to God and only to God. And, now its my turn to run. God has set a race before me and He has given me the tools necessary to run the next leg. I just need to take his hand and run like the wind.

I'm still overwhelmed. I still have my doubts that I'm going to be able to do this. I'm still unsure of His plan for me. But, I'm running.