Quiet Time

So, a couple of days ago, I wrote a blog about how I'm struggling at working in my quiet time. Not because I don't have the time. I mean, I've got a lot to do, for sure, but I'm only working one job now. And, you would not believe how weird it is to have free time now.

I tried getting up early for a couple of days. Yeah, I read my Bible and I talked to God some, but I got absolutely nothing out of it. I couldn't tell you what I read and most of what I said to God was incoherent. I was definitely not giving God my best. And, strangely enough, I was a little crankier. I think because I got up earlier, but also because I knew how unfruitful and pointless that fifteen minutes I gave to God was.

But, I always feel guilty. I feel like I've always been told that you should give your early morning moments to God. You should start the day off by spending time with Him. Why would He want those moments when I can give Him some time in the afternoon and the both of us will get so much more out of it?

It is true that if I just try to work it in sometime during the day, it often gets skipped. So, I think I'm just going to make it a part of my night time routine, instead of my morning routine.

Maybe this is silly. Maybe God doesn't care when I talk to Him, when I read His words, when I set aside time for Him, just as long as I do it. I'm still very conflicted though. I feel like every good Christian gives God their mornings. They sacrifice their sleep, drag themselves out of bed, and watch the sunrise with the Lord.

That is just not how it happens for me. I rolled out of bed, got mad cause both bathrooms were full and I really had to pee, discovered that no one left any coffee for me (I usually just wait until work, but if I have to get up early...), stumbled through a couple chapters of I Timothy, said a quick prayer, and carried on with my day.

That is not how I want my time with Jesus to go. So, maybe this makes me a bad Christian, but I'm having my date with Jesus at night. Don't think too poorly of me.