Growing up is such a barbarous business, full of inconvenience... and pimples.

"Hook met the accusation with a jaunty shrug. 'Not I. You yourself. The moment a child answers the question 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' he is halfway to being an adult. He has betrayed childhood and Looked Ahead. He has joined the rank of those clerks and chicken-pluckers and box-packers who scan the Situations Vacant column in the newspapers."
Curse those teachers who demand that you choose a profession in kindergarten. Curse those admissions counselors who make you declare a major. And those professors who ask you to write papers on your own personal mission statement? Make them walk the plank. In my fairy tale, they are the Captain James Hook. They are the robbers of childhood and imagination.
Perhaps they thought that by robbing us of our imagination and instilling good sense and responsibility, we could make the world a better place. But, it turns out that sense of responsibility is what drives us to take jobs as chicken-pluckers and travel agents and retaill clerks and box-packers. Maybe we still have that imagination and that sense of adventure. But, everyday we get up and make our way to our less than desirable jobs, we are forced to supress our inner Pan in favor of paying the rent.
These professors and admission counselors probably thought their plan was foolproof, but it turns out, it's acutally imagination and that sense of Peter Pan-ian adventure that will make the world a better place. It's going to take a few Peter Pans to solve the world's biggest problems. That common sense and concern for responsibility only brings about the concern for the bottom line and concrete facts. And quote all the statistics you want, and the Captain Hooks of the world certainly do, but that's not going to save the world.
It's true. We have no fairy dust. But, Pan said, "to live would be an awfully big adventure." And, I'm thinking to live life as an adventure is a far better alternative to living a life concerned with the bottom line.

On a scale of one to ten, I'm a three...and counting...

I have completely given up the male gender. I am done. I am starting to think that those crazy cat ladies who live in the old broken down house on the corner have a good plan. I understand them.
Cats don't let you down. They don't lie. They don't cheat. You remember to feed them, water them, and clean out their litter box and they will be your best friend. They will cuddle with you. You never have to fight for control of the remote or the radio. You don't have to do their laundry or remind them to put their dishes in the dishwasher. And, they are always listening to you and will never try to fix your problem.
So what if their houses are a little broken down? They don't have anyone to fix it for them. Why? Because they gave up on men and as a result, their gutters don't get cleaned, they siding doesn't get fixed, and their stairs sag a little. In the long run, does it really matter? Instead, they get to spend every night in their sweatpants with no makeup on and their legs unshaved. I think that's a trade that is more than fair.
Now, I love kids as much as the next person, actually, probably more. But, right now my bitterness level is at about a three. Give me a few years and I might be a lot higher. I'm thinking a fifteen. So, I'll probably be glad that their trick or treaters are too afraid to come and ring my doorbell. Maybe they think I would boil them and eat them, and I'll be honest if I ever get to a fifteen, I might boil and eat them. They might want to stay away.
And for those kids who do actually reach my doorbell, props to them, but I probably won't have any candy. I probably ate it all, along with the entire contents of my fridge.

Things I heard on the radio...

This blog will not be about music. Why? Because the only time I get to listen to the radio is in the morning while I am getting ready for work because I do not have a radio in my car. The only other time I listen is at work while I am at reception, and I'm not usually paying that much attention. This blog will be about things I heard on the radio this week and my thoughts on those things.
Enjoy.
First, I heard that some town, I think it was Bangor, Maine, instituted a law that says you can't smoke in a car when minors are present. It's a first offense, meaning they can actually pull you over for it. At first, I was like, "good for you Bangor! Way to protect those who can not protect themselves!" But, then I started to think about it and I found myself agreeing with Bangor less and less.
I'm sure you've heard that "you can't legislate morality." Usually, this is a point of moral relativism or people who want to be allowed to do whatever you want. But, think about it. No matter how many laws you make that say you can't murder or steal or hate, people will still murder and steal and hate. Law cannot create the motivation to do what is right, just like grades cannot create the motivation to learn. I think perhaps, it may also be true that you can't legislate common sense. I would much prefer that you didn't try, honestly. Today, you are pulling me over because you think I might possibly be smoking with children in the car, but tomorrow you're knocking on my door asking if I smoke while there are children in the house (for the record, I neither smoke nor have children). While I agree that everyone should wear a seatbelt while driving and a helmet while on a motorcycle, shouldn't that be a personal decision? At the same time, I'm torn. I want to protect those children from their stupid parent's second hand smoke, but I also want to protect their right to make their own decisions in the future.
Next, I heard a much more disturbing bit of information. As I'm sure you all heard, President Bush gave the State of the Union address on Tuesday. Well, Monday, on The View, Rosie called for his impeachment. I have so many things to say about this, you may want to put your seatbelt on (I am not going to make you, it's your choice).
First of all, let's think back to the last time we called for a president's impeachment. What did that even do? Nothing. We were subjected to thousands of hours of hearings and such. Now, we are waiting to see if his wife is going to run for president. Yipee.
Second, who in the world does Rosie thinks she is? Seriously, you have a little tiny midday talk show. But, because you, a talk show host, disagrees with the leader of the Free World, we should listen to you? I don't think so. I rarely agree with Donald Trump, but he may be right about you. You are too big for your britches. Shut up.
Third, we are in the middle of a war, a war that doesn't seem to be going too well (honestly, I don't know much about it, so don't get too upset if you think it is going well). Is it really a great idea to impeach the commander of our armed forces in the middle of a war? Does that really make sense? I don't think it does.
Rosie, shut up. You're an idiot. Just because you have a lot of money doesn't mean you get to tell us what to do. It doesn't make you smart or right.

Worst Cup of Coffee Ever.

Wow. I have not blogged in a really, really long time. How excited are you? Not to mention, this is an extra special blog. It's a blog about my date.
So, I met this guy on match.com. If you're curious about online dating, go ahead and give it a try. If you get nothing more out of it, it's a blast just to read/make fun of all of the other profiles. And, the truth is, you never really know, you just might me someone you was worth it. I have not, not yet, anyway.
So, anyway, I didn't really like this guy that much from the start, but I'm a nice girl (haha), so I winked back. He kept talking, I kept responding. Then, all of the sudden he asked me if I wanted to get coffee. I said, sure, call me this weekend.
Before I continue, let me give you a little background information about this guy. He's a graduate of Western, which, compared to Lee, is a party school. He has a degree in Accounting and is an auditor for the IRS. He lives by himself in an apartment while his house is being built. For fun, he plays sports and goes out to the bars. What a match.
Back to the play by play, he did not call me over the weekend. I won't lie, I was relieved. He called on Monday. I called him back on Tuesday. He told me he would have to call me back because he was grocery shopping and getting the "cans and shit" out of his car.
(In case you're keeping score:
Strike 1: Didn't call when he said he would.
Strike 2: Swore the first time he talked to me. That's just a pet peeve of mine. When did guys stop treating girls like they were ladies? I don't have a problem with swearing really, but you couldn't hold your tongue the first time you talked to a new girl? Rude and very un-gentleman-like.)
So, he did call me back and we had a very awkward conversation. He asked me if I wanted to get coffee on Wednesday. I said that wouldn't really work for me cause I had to work late. He said he might be able to squeeze me in before he went to the bar on Thursday, but he really wanted to do it on Wednesday. I agreed. (I'm not counting that as a strike, cause I already knew he wasn't a gentleman.)
So, I get to the Starbucks first. I go ahead and order, just to take the awkward-ness out of that moment. I sit down and wait and wait and wait. I check my voicemail. The guy got lost on the way to the Starbucks in the mall parking lot. Are you freaking kidding me? So, I call him back and he is a little rude to me on the phone. He is definitely annoyed that he got lost and I think he is blaming me. (Oh, and strike three for being an idiot and blaming it on me.) He has a navigation system in his car (he told me three times).
He walks in. He doesn't even shake my hand or anything. I had to reach to shake his. He didn't apoligize for being late or for not buying my drink or anything. He says he's not going to get anything to drink yet. He doesn't drink coffee anyway, which he already told me at least twice. He sits down, no I'm sorry, he slouches down. And, I tell him I'm a little nervous. Perfect invitation to flirt. Does he? No, he says, "yeah?"
From there, I pretty much talked for an hour and half. If he was talking and I would start talking, I could tell that he was getting annoyed that he didn't finish his story or whatever. He kept talking about the Krispy Kreme across the street. He never looked at me when I talked or even when he was talking.
Not to mention he looked about thirteen. I don't even think he had to shave. He was wearing crappy stone-washed jeans. He never even took his coat off. Then, as he was leaving, he didn't try to shake my head or hug me or even walk me out to the car. All he said, was, "I'll talk to you later." Yeah fricking right. If he calls me, I'm going to answer the phone with a, "are you fricking kidding me?"
That was my date.

Green Peace

A few Sundays ago, the pastor at the church I have been going to spoke about Christians speaking up. I agreed with him about so many things and I want to share all of those things with you, but for now, I just want to touch on one of the thoughts that he had. So many times, we as Christians, find causes that are important to us, but seem silly to the rest of the world. We boycott Pepsi because they didn't print "In God We Trust" on their patriotic cans. We get upset because of something Disney does and they are always doing something. Are these important? Yes. But, the world is beginning to see us as silly Christians who have no idea about what is really important. So, I suggest, let Pepsi print whatever they want on their cans, you don't have to buy it. But, let's save our warheads for something more important. The pastor then suggested a few issues that we aren't speaking up on that we should be. The first one he said really stuck with me because I never even thought about it: the environment. The rest of the world is so concerned with the ozone layer and global warming and pollution and the use of alternative fuels and we don't care and the world is wondering why.

I once saw a movie about a Navajo shaman. Every morning the Navajo shaman would wake up before dawn and chant the world into being. He would chant for the sun to rise and the birds to sing. He respected nature. He revered nature. He believed that he had a part in nature. He wanted to walk in beauty on the outside, so that he could walk in beauty on the inside. He said that you could see holy people everywhere and in everything, especially in nature. So, he chanted and walked through the desert every morning. Because unless you speak, there is no world, and unless you move, there is no life.

As Christians in America, we don't think that we need to chant the world into being every morning. We know that the sun will rise and the birds will sing without our help. We don't feel an urgency to connect with nature. We don't even feel any kind of responsibility toward nature. "This world is not our home, we are just passing through," the old hymn says. Earth is only our temporary home while we wait for Jesus to prepare a mansion for us in Heaven. But, we have no idea how long it's going to be our home.

Maybe it's not our job to get up every morning and help the sun rise. Maybe we don't need to hold special ceremonies so it will rain. Maybe we don't need to have a festival to insure a good harvest. But, we do know who makes the sun rise every morning. We do know who makes the rain fall and the trees grow. We know who made this earth and everything in it. We know who lovingly molded the mountains and carefully carved the rivers and oceans. We know who controls the tides and knows every star by name. And, He did all for us. He did it so we could walk in beauty on the outside, so that we could walk in beauty on the inside.

What if we did join the world in their fight to save nature? What if we started speaking up about alternative fuels? What if we started to be concerned about the ozone layer? Heck, what if we just started reading up and educating ourselves on all these issues and started to take action? Do you think the world would start to take us seriously? Do you think they might start to have a little respect for us? I do. And do you know what people do for people they have respect for? They listen.

Desert

I am convinced that I do have the best friends in the world. I may not have a million, but they are worth a million. Thanks so much all of you for trying to cheer me up in my terrible no good days. I think you deserve an update.
Currently, I am in a state of denial about my truck. It's true. I freely admit it. I function better that way. You don't have to tell me it's unhealthy. I have a degree in psychology. I know it's unhealthy. But, I know that I can't do anything about it right now, so I have pushed it out of my mind.
On another note, recently I have been checking out churches in Grand Rapids. I know that I am missing something in my spiritual life, and I know that it's the lack of a church family. So far, I've only been to three, but I am, for once, enjoying the hunt. I've brought something away from each service I have been to lately. That's refreshing. I've been to far too many showy chapels. I was starting to think that maybe that was all there was. I have been wrong. If you don't mind, I would like to share a little something from today's service.
The speaker today at Ada Bible Church was talking about the Children of Israel and the desert. God plucked them from the land of plenty and put them into the land of nothing. He let them loose in a desert with no food, no water, and nothing that they were used to. Why would he do this? It was time for the Children to start relying on Him for their daily bread. It was time that they learned that He is their portion. He was humbling them so that they could fully rely on Him.
Ouch. Perhaps, I have also been plucked from my land of plenty. I can't always depend on my parents. Most of my friends are scattered all over these fifty states. I have new bills and a new job and I'm just barely making ends meet. My car is broken and I don't have the money to fix it. That's a huge contrast to being at Lee with family just a phone call away, friends even closer, and it's probably time for me to not call my dad with all my problems and expect him to fix them. Sure, my car wasn't that reliable, but it wasn't this bad. Could God be trying to tell me something?
What if I did ask God for my daily bread everyday? What if I did rely on him for my most basic needs? What if I did expect Him, and only Him, to by my portion? What if He was it? What if I stopped, for even one second, trying to figure all of this out on my own and just let him take complete control?
For those of you who know me well, it would not be easy for me. I've never been one to let go of control. And, maybe, that's why I'm in my own little desert. God is telling me that he has all the answers, and I, in contrast, have no answers at all. Maybe, he's ripping that control away from me, humbling me, preparing me for something bigger.
Or, maybe He just wants me to shut up for five seconds and realize that He is God.

If you turn someone in who has a warrant out for their arrest, do you get a reward?

I knwo you're probably getting tired of me blogging about my terrible days. You know what? Get over it. Today was a doosey.
This morning, when I was leaving for work, my car was dead. I had to drag Crystal out of bed to jump me. I made it to work with three minutes to spare. But, I couldn't really concentrate on work because I was so concerned that my car wouldn't start again.
So, when I went to start my car at lunchtime, it was dead. Awesome. So, I called Crystal and she said she would come give me a jump after work. I called Dad who told me that I would need to jump it and then drive it for a while so the alternator could charge the batter. Fine. My main problems: all I had to eat was some leftover cereal from breakfast and I had forgetten my book. So, I had an hour to kill with nowhere to go and nothing to do and nothing to eat. Bummer.
After work, we jumped my car, and let it charge on Crystal's battery a while. We drove it around for an hour and then on the way home we had another one of our fantastic adventures.
My plates are expired and have been for a while, so when I saw the lights in my rearview mirror, I was not surprised. But, I was afraid to turn the car off. So, I had to hold in the clutch the whole time. And it was a long time. First, he took my license and registration and all that jazz. He told me my plates were expired and that's why he pulled me over. He told me I needed to get my bumper fixed. (While he was at it, he should have told me the winning numbers of the lottery cause that's what I'm gonna need now.) Then, he asked Crystal for her ID, which we thought was odd, but she gave it to him anyway.
He was in the car forever. My foot is falling asleep from holding the clutch in. Finally, he comes back and asks Crystal if she would step out of the car so he can talk to her. I thought he was going to give her a sobreity test. But, he asks her if she has any knives on her possession. Then he starts asking about her address and such. He asks her is she ever lived on Toepher and she told him that her dad used to, so he asked for the address. She couldn't remember it, so he asked her to spell the street name. So, she did. He asked for her social security number and if she had any tattoos. He also asked why she was on this side of the state. Then, told her she could get back in the car.
We thought for sure she was headed to the slammer.
Then, he comes back and tells her that there is a sizeable warrant out for the arrest for someone with the exact same name, but there is no description. He strongly advised her to get this cleared up if it was her. He couldn't prove it was her so he was going to let her go. But, told her that this could be a situation like you see on tv with a swat team storming into our apartment.
Then he handed me my license back, told me I needed to get my registration cleared up. He explained that I should call the number on the back of the ticket within ten days and they will tell me everything I need to do to take care of it.
So, apparently, I'm living with a criminal who has a sizeable warrant out for her arrest, I'm still afraid my car won't start in the morning, and I really need to win the lottery.

Oh, and I just got off the phone with my dad who says I have to buy a new battery. My car just isn't charging and I just can't drive it. Great. So, I have to buy a new battery, transfer the title, renew the plates, and get the bumper fixed. And, oh yeah, pay the ticket.